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Can Myspace or Facebook break up a relationship?
Images of women of all different sizes and shapes cover Steffon Washington’s Myspace friends list. As his wife scrolls the page down farther, she notices flirty and sexy comments with recent dates attached to his profile. Jennifer had an ounce of evidence that her husband was cheating, now she wanted the whole pound. The old saying curiosity killed the cat didn’t seem important all she wanted was to see her husband’s inbox.
Social networks such as Myspace and Facebook weren’t started as dating devices. But as an online connection of friends, schoolmates, and coworkers. Myspace had more than a 106 million accounts in 2006 and now there is an estimate of a quarter of a million members. The purpose of Myspace was to create “a place for friends.”
Facebook was created to allow Harvard students to be able to converse online, but it was extended to other colleges in the Boston area and goes on to accept anyone over the age of 13. Facebook has been said to have over 175 million active members.
Users’ profiles can be interesting and damaging. For example, a man looking for an old high school friend can get sidetracked by the sexy pictures and flirty user names thats some female members posted on the site. The thought of searching for an old buddy can be quickly thrown to the back of ones mind when images of boy shorts and breasts are available to look at for free.
As Jennifer glanced through the several messages her husband has sent to various women, she begins to cry, “I never thought a simple site could cause so much pain,” she said. The messages went from casual conversation to exchanging phone numbers and setting up a possible meeting date. Jennifer explained how she tried to solve her husband obvious cheating Myspace issue. “I didn’t know how to tell him what I found out, so I sent the girl a message telling her not to talk to my husband any more.”
After many messages back and forth between the online mistresses and Jennifer, she finally approached her husband and explained the messages and the hurt she felt. “I was so mad, I had thought about closing his account!”
Some cases aren’t as severe as Steffon and Jennifer’s. Issues with social networks could be as simple as not being listed as “in a relationship” on your profile or not including your signicant other on your “Top friends list”.
Jessica Harris a faithful Myspace and Facebook user said “Facebook and Myspace can only break up a relationship that is lacking trust and has some insecurity.” Brittney Ragsdale thinks “if the relationship isn’t strong enough and the people are not mature enough then social networks can ruin a relationship.”
Sandra White, an avid Myspace user caught her boyfriend flirting online. “He would leave comments on different girls’ pictures and profiles, saying “Hey sexy!” or “Cute smile” I didn’t like it, so I told him about it and after awhile the comments slowed down. I was honestly worried at first since we met off Myspace.”
Relationship counselor Tasha Williams feels that Myspace can’t ruin a relationship, but the people who use them can. Its similar to being in a club just because you socialize with someone doesn’t mean you are going to “hook up” with that person. Myspace and Facebook are like online clubs just because you chat with someone doesn’t mean you will take it to the next level as far as relationships or sex. Williams has heard several stories about breaks up related to Myspace and Facebook, but insist that it’s the people involved.
The marriage between Steffon and Jennifer didn’t end because of Myspace drama they worked together to fix the insecurity and lack of trust in their relationship. Steffon’s Myspace page still exists and his wife has even started her own page. The agreement was to stay honest and only connect with other friends.
-Keyonda Campbell |
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